2021: to Priorities and the Prince of KC

New Year’s Day, 2021. As my comfortingly religious friend Anna likes to say: Thank you Jesus.

Not many people know this: the phrase “auld lang syne” is Scottish for “I’m over this shit.” (I’m part Scottish so you can believe me.)

And you have to believe me because, not only do you not know what “auld lang syne” really means, you don’t even know more than the first two lines of the song.

Don’t feel bad. Almost no one, including the Scots, know more than the first two lines of Auld Lang Syne, because by the time anyone gets to the third line, the goal is to either be: 1. making out with a stranger, 2. getting in your car to take your life into your hands, or 3. turning off the bed stand light and remembering how glad you are that #1 and #2 are no longer priorities.

That might be the silver lining of 2020: a better understanding of the importance of priorities.

The crap we have had to deal with in 2020, and particularly the pandemic, are no joking matters. The misery caused by this virus and its spread are real and tragic.

But humor can be a balm, and it certainly is a psychological and emotional coping mechanism. So I will joke about the dumpster fire that was 2020, including COVID, in the service of healing, not disrespect.

If there is one thing that this canker sore of a year has taught us (and, sadly, there are far more than one thing), it’s that we need to simplify and prioritize our lives.

On a regular basis, I’ll find myself trying to carry a pile of too many things in the house - some high value, like my laptop, phone and mouse, and some low value, like the power cord and an empty soda can. (Someone should invent little pouches on pants to carry stuff.) Inevitably, the low-value thing (the soda can) begins to slip off the pile. Panicked, I frantically grab for the soda can - dropping all my high-value stuff. 

Hmmmmm… what lesson… what lesson… what lesson… other than that I’m an idiot.

OK, here’s the lesson: FOCUS on what’s important.

And don’t confuse what other people think is important with what you think is important.

I have a list of books I want to read. It’s long. One of the books on that list was Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy. A classic. Everyone says you gotta read Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy. So, when I came across a copy in an antique (read: junk) store recently, I grabbed it and set about reading this classic.

Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy is about life in the South Carolina low country, a life full of conflict and pain and regret and cruelty. Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy has everything, except an editor.

The characters talk like 1940s movies. The child characters talk like adults. All of them talk too much. (I know… I’m one to talk… about talking.)

I’m hundreds of pages in and I’m not hooked. That’s not on me. That’s on Pat Conroy, author of Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy.

Look, I’m 58 ½. I have X years left. Notice that “X” is not two digits. Who knows? I haven’t exactly stuck to the maintenance recommendations in the owner’s manual.

Life, regardless how many digits your “X” is, is too short to spend precious hours on someone else’s idea of a good time. If you enjoy it - fine! If everyone else enjoys it and you don’t... also fine. Quit it!

Everyone has responsibilities. These are things we have to do and want to do: take care of our families, give back to the community, earn a living. What I’m talking about is how we choose to spend the rest of our time, our disposable time.

There’s a reason we call it “spending time”: we are literally giving away, forever, our time in exchange for something (hopefully) of real value. 

I don’t enjoy Pat Conroy’s work. I very much enjoy Pat Mahomes’s work. So I will choose to spend three hours enjoying the latter, not not enjoying the former.

The world is too big, and life is too short, to do everything. Make sure the things you do are the things you want to do.

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