Charlie Sheen: He does an ego good

I try to avoid the topic of Charlie Sheen, but I have to say I've recently discovered that he may have some redeeming value after all. We all have our bad days, our rough patches, our complete melt-downs (well, maybe not you, but…). However, it almost doesn’t matter how badly you’ve screwed up on any given day, because all you need to do is look for the most recent Charlie Sheen news story and immediately feel batter about yourself. Because, at least you aren’t THAT screwed up. For example, I saw a headline today in USA Today that said, “Charlie Sheen: I didn't shoot Kelly Preston”. The article, which details an incident in which Kelly Preston sustained a gunshot wound to her arm, says that Sheen, who was engaged [emphasis mine] to Preston at the time, says he was downstairs making coffee when the incident happened.

"I thought she was still asleep upstairs,” Sheen said. “And I heard a [expletive] gunshot go off. I thought, 'She did it, she finally [expletive] did it. She killed herself and they're going to [expletive] blame me.”

Now, maybe you accidentally didn’t refill the coffee pot at work. Or perhaps you accidentally bought your spouse the exact same gift on Valentine’s Day that you did for Christmas. Possibly you stepped on a bug. You feel bad. You feel the disappointment of others. You wonder if you’ve wandered off course somehow.

Then you realize: there are no headlines saying: “[YOUR NAME HERE]: I didn’t shoot Kelly Preston”. The day that your headline reflects worse on you than Charlie Sheen’s does on him, then you can worry.

And, surely, you are not the person who whose first thought, upon hearing a gunshot in your house, would be: Geez, if my significant other just committed suicide, I hope they don’t blame me.

Thank you, Charlie Sheen.