Top Ten Ways You Can Tell It's the Holidays at Work
10. Your commute is 30 minutes longer because you have to find new routes to avoid roads near the malls.
9. Even the senior executives admit that not one daggone thing is going to get done until January 4.
7. All the NON-administrative professionals show up at the office holiday party 15 minutes late and think party fairies put the holiday event together. (Apparently they also think the party fairies clean up afterwards too.)
6. The guy who has used up all his vacation already will constantly talk about how much work he will get done during the week between Christmas and New Year's. (He won't get a daggone thing done, of course.)
5. Half the office will be joyful at the prospect of spending the holidays with family; the other half... not so much. Neither group will understand how the other group can feel that way.
3. More than two months of work will be postponed due to the holidays, but will be due two weeks into January. This is called holiday math. Well, this is one kind of holiday math. The other kind involves credit cards.
2. The company holds its annual company-wide holiday party, which will be either: A. a quiet, somewhat boring affair; or, B. a drunk-fest that provides a year's worth of office gossip fodder.
And the #1 way you can tell it's the holiday season at work:
1. Everyone is complaining about their weight but you can't understand them because their mouths are full.