Tim Abbott for President! We need his Out-of-the-Crosswalk Thinking!

This man IS the right man for president: Tim Abbott for President! This is the kind of Out-of-the-Crosswalk thinking we need! Imagine the Abbott administration:

  • Who can be Secretary of State, What can be Secretary of Defense, and Why can be Attorney General. I Don't Know? Third base! Or Secretary of Treasury. One or the other.
  • And as for a running mate, here's the ticket: "Abbott/Roseannadanna 2012."
Now for President Abbott's policies:
    • Do not pay back our debt to foreign nations. Instead, change the country's name to "United States of AmericaS". When we get calls from China, just say, "United States of Ameri-CA?" No, sorry. Wrong number. We are the United States of AmericaS." (Credit: Daniel Hansen)
    • NASA should save money by relocating the International Space Station to Florida, where the astronauts already are.
    • Fall short of our education goals for 2012? Change the year to 2006 - that's six more years to get there!
    • Fiscal policy: President Tim Abbott is against QE3 because the first two fancy boats ought to be plenty.
    • President Abbott's policy on Iran: "Is that the one with the Saddam guy or is it the one with the Kaddafy guy?"
    • Vice President Roseannadanna will be put in charge of simplifying federal regulations and the tax code.
You might wonder: Does the Abbott/Roseannadanna ticket represent the Republican Party or the Democratic Party? Based on the policies detailed above, I think you'll agree the answer to that question is: YES!
Now, I am counting on you to help fill out the Abbott/Roseannadanna campaign platform. Please add your suggestions below.
Thank you! You are a Great American!!! Huzzah!!